Cycle of violence

Domestic violence is a social problem in many forms. It is a way for someone to control their spouse. This violence settles slowly and hurts most of the time morally and sometimes physically. Domestic violence consists of aggression, excuse and lull, all rounded in a vicious circle, until it is broken. We talk about the cycle of violence when we observe the repetition of 4 phases:

1 Tension : anger excesses, heavy silences, intimidations, threatening looks. Anxiety: you feel it may go bad, you are worried and you put a lot of energy to lower the tension and calm the situation. You are afraid; you feel paralyzed and have the impression of walking on eggs.

2 Aggression : verbal, psychological, physical, sexual, economic. Anger and shame: you are humiliated, sad and you have a feeling of injustice.

3 Justification : you find excuses, explain yourself why there was a break-up, and the reasons are external to him. Accountability : you believe and understand his justifications. If only you could help him to change! You adapt to it, you doubt your perceptions (was it really an aggression?), you feel responsible about it and your anger disappears.

4 Reconciliation : he wants to be forgiven, asks for help, talks about therapies. Hope/honeymoon : you see his efforts, give him a new chance and help him, you find the one you love and change your attitudes.